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April 14: By the Skin of My Teeth

I've noticed that I've taken to gripping my teeth really hard nowadays. This realization came on because of the fact that I'M NOT SUPPOSED to clench my teeth because of the temporary crown that I have in. I could knock the cement loose. So of course, every chance I get my jawline clenches and I have to tell myself to loosen up. The stress is unnerving because it has taken over my psyche. I'm in negative mode all the time. I don't like it. I want to be more positive. I have to be more positive or I'm going to end up like several of my friends who are bitter pills beyond being bitter pills. They are ridiculous. The essence of life sucks for them. It hasn't gotten that bad for me, yet. I enjoy many aspects of life, i'm just too pessimistic to let those times show more often than the negative ones. So the clenching continues. I saw THE STEPHANIE (chino as not to be confused with stephanie of my group)last nite for the first time since she'd left for atlanta back in august/september. and everything was still the same. that's a problem i guess. I was happy that some things were the same in our friendship, but i guess i expected her to be really different by now so that I could continue my progression into the different me that i want to become. So we'll see. It'll be interesting to have an egocentric running buddy again...i'll say that in her favor.