The Players

updated: 10-27-98

there are truly a cast of characters which make up the drama of my life.
i wish i could give them all star billing, but that is not to be the 
case.  not everyone can be a star!

and even though i've mostly used real people's names some are fake.  i can no longer
live a lie so not being truthful in this journal wouldn't really help me on my road
to recovery.

if you are a regular and notice a different description for some's because
i've changed a lot over the past few months.  the person who wrote the subtle negative defs
is no longer the person i am today.

eris: even though she won't let me admit this out loud,
eris is my best friend.  i hate her and i love her because we are so
different. but because of those differences she has been the person that i have opened up to
the most in my life.  without her, i'm not sure if i would still be alive today.  we fight 
constantly and most people think we are married.  hmmmm. she's a pretty good listener when she wants to be.
and at least she helps me fill my black quota.

josh: what can i say about
josh.  he's white...but you would never know it unless you saw him.  i mean you would never never 
never guess that shit.  and he's also highly intelligent and an outstanding writer...several times
i've read his page and either gigged it deeply or it made me cry.  he's eloquent to say the least.
i love him something fierce.  he's a best friend as well, but i think
both of them have label issues.  and since i'm the issue-maker, hey.

superleroy[tm]: this is my current roomate's alter-ego.  he can fly off the handle in the blink of an 
eye.  eris doesn't like him because he's SUPERRUDE on the phone. i mean really.  we are beginning to 
start a friendship.  he's a phd composition student and is into electronic music...heavily.  midwestern

catherine:  she's the techy savvy one.  and has single-handedly brought
together several hundred people in the "rent" world as we know it.  my second visit ever to nyc and she let's me
sleep on her couch.  the first time we ever met.  I've done some stupid things in order to please her and be 
"worthy" in her eyes. but my growing up let's me see that she likes me for me.

stephanie (chino): she's a former best friend and roommate.  we have issues due to some financial matters that
i won't get into...but she was instrumental in making me into the bitch that i am today.  she doesn't know
this but she "helped" me over to the other side when it came to my orientation, relationship with nimnod.  i was
in love with her, but couldn't live up to her sex standards.  fierce.

jasme:  ooo jasme.  talented individual little girl who wants her way all the time.  she's so self-confident that 
it makes her feel very very insecure and unsure of herself and needy.  she's not speaking to me right now.  
i need her as a friend because she and her family helped me out in a big way dealing with the idiocy that was living 
arrangements on alabama ave and royal park apartments.  she should have a record coming
out soon...unless she's just acting again.  she a part of the group that i will later define called the Nippies.

jacq:  ms robbins is a trip and a half.  i can't really explain it.  she's there and then she's not.  our "friendhip" is
very weird.  we flirt a lot, then look at the same boys and girls together.  hmmmm.  she keeps standing me up whenever we have a date.

nimnod: my first sexual experience was with him. a freak and a half, but i would do him to this day if he asked.  and this
time i would actually "do him."  he's a great guy, a lot weird and incorrigible, but he made me feel special for a few weeks and i'll never be 
able to pay him back for that.

Pick Up 6: the a cappella group i direct.  stephanwolf and landshark are the people i talk about the most in
this instance.  i'll probably call them by their real names but try not to confuse you.  stephanie and lance.
the rest of the members are caren, jen and chrisjam.

the subclaquey bunch:  13 of my online and real friends. created because we were trying to get stephen and anji to move
to north carolina with josh.  that didn't happen.  so others were added.  you have to be a cliquey bitch or a former cb to belong to the group.
misscelie, eriana, stephanji, fad, brandina, sabs, joci, myboo, whitnaya, stephanie.

cliquey bitches:  my rent list.  w00. i've met a lot of them and love a lot of them dearly.  very demanding bunch, 
but they've changed my life mostly for the better, so i'm thankful as always.

coworkers:  right now they are a lump, but they are the best lump that i've worked with in a long time. they may develop individual personalities.
patsy:  he is superleroy's best friend. he's cute as hell and very flirtatious. he and i have ended up
at the same place occassionaly and have had a blast.  it's weird being in a triangle.

the job:  hmmm, i talk about my job a lot.  i don't like's that simple. i like the people though.

the school:  i'm trying to get the fuck out of carolina and i keep putting blocks in front of me.  it is happening
in december.  no ifandsorbuts.

the car:  i have to call it the car right now...because she's not with me, and she needs a new many bad things
have happened to her to keep the old one.  i'm thinking that her name is sabrina, but that's still in the test phase.

mom:  cuz she's my mom.

sis:  shana is certifiably crazy, but i love her.  she's married and muslim and a mother. ohmigod.

elondia: my new niece.  not by the husband of my sister.  tee hee.

mamaida:  my grandmother who i share everything with except the true me.  she's 75 and i hope she outlives me.  i can't imagine
the earth without her.

vernon:  my father that's all you need to know.
pam: his wife...da da da da da da da da da. meet george jetson.

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