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March 9: keep it going and going

stop the madness... well, it's been an interesting couple of days. i had planned on going to a party over the weekend, during the biggest rivalry at my alma mater, and of course i got the date of the party wrong by a week. that's been happening to me lately. i tried to go to a dental appointment last thursday and took the time off from work when actually it's this thursday. i'm worried about the latest show with jelly educational theater. i'm worried for two it's bringing out a lot of my prejudicies that i try to pretend that i don't have, or at least can overcome in my enlightened 90s guy kind of way. but oh no...they seem to strike at the oddest of moments. i will be able to deal with this though. i have to. and actually as josh said, it's probably my aquarian conscience playing havoc a lot more than anything really major. i do know that i don't know my lines and i have 5 rehearsals left before this show goes up. hmmmmm. i've been in worse predicaments (especially with the first and second shows i did for them) but i'm supposedly over that hump and i feel the dregs of not caring about learning my lines because i'm not being called for rehearsal creeping back up on me. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* got the work scare as well today. patrick was talking about the dread he had going into work and i was nodding because i'm dreading this position i'm in...his boss called him on some work that he'd let pile up on his desk for a while. well guess who got called on being late (7 minutes) two days in a row. argh...and i can't stand it. the thought that someone doesn't enjoy/like/appreciate/respect/trust/i don't know what word to use here EVERYTHING that i do, is one of those mind-numbing and depression inducing obstacles that i wrestle with every day. that coupled with the overtime comment yesterday and the fact that I have stuff piled up on my desk caused several small ulcers to form today. ~*~*~*~*~* i talked with jessika today regarding the next issue of THE CAN she's the managing editor of the publication. i didn't do so well this issue. but there's still the next issue to redeem myself, when i'm out from under the auspices of laHARDy. we swapped pictures via email today and i think we're going to become better online friends (she's lives in either alberta or montreal -- don't remember) and i respect her a lot. we're both extremely cynical and are fed up with our president who is not as forthright as he pretends to be.