My Life is under construction

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late last nite when we were all in bed...

a picture of some of the cbs at ant's last. you know who you are...staceyzz, sue, whitney, me, catherine, jendanoyse, brandy, missymink, jenben, dona and my precious fr@nk who doesn't speak to me anymore is hiding in the corner. little did he know.
there was a fire drill in the middle of our show today. oh my god were some people pissed. i mean a fire drill in the middle of a show. how can a school principal be so inconsiderate. damn. though i did learn today that i have 4 less shows to do for the green man. they've had to cancel 4 shows when we go to henderson because the school system changed their scheduling. can we say jumping for f-ing joy boys and girls. i need those two days back at work. we had a birthday luncheon for kate today after the show. i was late because. I FINALLY GOT MY VIDEO REDONE FOR MY THESIS PERFORMANCE. it's taken a while...but now all i have to do is get it copied and turn the puppy in and i'm golden. i'ma liken that. but wait why do i call people on the phone when i'm writing this...the duplication guy is going to be closed until thursday (the day i have to do the show and go to work) next week. well, it's a minor setback but nothing i can't over come. my spirits are high if you couldn't tell already. thinking about going to carowinds on sunday for the big 2 annual owners reunion. i don't have anyone to go with me...so i probably won't go. superleroy[tm] is going to be in atlanta if i'm not mistaken this weekend. so i may actually just stay home and clean. i really need to do that. i came home last night to one of the rankiest smells that have been emitted there yeesh. check you later.

10-8-98: oooowwwwww!

i got hurt at the show today. my wings got caught on the stage as i was running off during the butterfly sequence. and i slammed into the side of the stage...so there is a big bruise on my arm now. ya!!!! seems i was too technical for the comdisco job. i think i really want to work for a big corporation and not this small accounting firm that i just interviewed with. i need to be a number and then carve out my niche and make my place within that environment. {shrug} i'm very hungry at this moment and am making plans to fly to boston market as soon as i get out of here. i haven't had a meal since 2pm yesterday and it's now 6:45pm. argh argh argh. I can taste the creamed spinach, mashed potatoes and the rostessiere chicken right now. can't you smell it. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! didn't get my video done today, but will do so tomorrow. today was kate's birthday and so we're going to have a luncheon for her tomorrow right after the show at the jelly studio. but i have to get this video done first, so I'll swing by the house afterwards. sarah called me today to get me to come, but because of my fucked up life and procrastination...well you know how that story goes. got a great compliment today. s. rhinehart who teaches at carolina remembers me as one of her students from long long ago (not true she was an original advisor for MU BETA PSI at my school) but she's seen me enough to think that she really knows me. well anyway. she came to see the show with her children today and said that she thought i did a fabolous job. so i was a little bit on cloud nine if you catch my drift. she's considering auditioning for the show in the spring, which made sarah very happy. so see sometimes things do work out well. but then again, usually they don't. i was feeling bad last night having chest pains and back pains, argh. I am trying to stop smoking (even though it isn't something that i do regularly...it's enough to affect my health.) the process is not been easy. and the fact that it's now allergy season for me. i'm only making myself worse by smoking. i should get over this oral fixation that i have. then i would stop smoking in now time, because it's all about the placement of something in my mouth that makes me want to smoke. feh, josh is going to be tickled pink by this. There's this black man who's on the custodial staff at work whom i want to boink silly. it's getting crazy. and it's reminding me a lot of the ramon situation. he's not normally someone whom i would be attracted to at all....and yet the hormones rage. the mind churns. later.

10-7-98: creamy fuzzy center

you would think that my life is an open book with the number of people who try to read me every day. it's kinda frustrating after a while. argh. just mind your own business sometimes. the deal is that i work a shirt and tie to work today because i had an offsite interview and didn't feel like changing my clothes after i left the interview. but everyone is making a big big deal about it. and naturally they all suspected that i had this interview. now they are coming to me with the don't go attitude. whatever people i'm not your court jester that you command to amuse you and keep the place "lively." "we would certainly lose something in the personality department if we were to lose you, thomas." then give me a fucking regular job and i'll stay here for a spell. how can i committ to you when you can committ to me. hmmmm. yeah that's what i thought. so i had the office manager interview today. i really need to start putting out more resumes because it looks like i'm going to be stuck in administrative support positions until i go back to school...yes, that sorta depresses the hell out of me and is one of the reasons i remained a contract employee for so long. if i was a "regular" employee, then i couldn't say that my "career" was being a secretary. i know that sounds elitist, but in my fucked up world it all made since. non-seq: i love it how my family just thinks that shana is the fucked up one in the head. and so i guess that means that i didn't get a second interview for the computer company. aint it a bitch to be overqualified to make 30K a year, when i'm only making 20K now. oh and was talking to someone earlier about how amazed we were when we were LIVING off less than 10K a year and felt pretty damn good about that amount of money. argh...the world....hell.....handbasket. stephanji is out in california now...they want me to come out there soon. i must have jet rockets coming out of my ass for the number of people who are demanding me to come and see them in various corners of the country. i am now supposed to visit (get this): atlanta, boston, nyc, philly, baltimore, nyc again, san fran, van nuys, and portland before the year is over. uh huh...that's going to happen. though i do want to see stephanji again. it will happen. i'm just glad that they are safe and anji is happy. got five new cds over the course of the weekend. the loreleis(my friends in a female a cappella singing group on campus) 116 Chauncey Street. it's really good. some of the mixing is strange or just completely wrong, but overall it's great i didn't have journal at the time but THV's (my almaic group) new release joe is excellent as well. the mix is probably the best of any tar heel voice recording that i've been on or heard. but anyway listening to chauncey right now and wondering which song is going to be on BOCA next year (probably the supremes medley) and which are going to be up for the CARAs in the spring. can't wait to do that judging. me pre-biased...nahhh. but anyway...so yeah, i spent a buttload of money on cds in nyc at virgin since many were on sale and not really down here. in order of preference and like i got these cast recordings and solo albums a new brain: by william finn, what about paradise: audra macdonald, lady day at the emerson bar and grill: lanie robinson, and hello again: mark lachusia. i would like to take hello again back, ugh. i wasn't completely thrilled with audra's cd...but it's growing on me. she really does make a better opera singer than musical theatre singer (even though she does have three tonys, one was for her portrayal of an opera singer). allright, i just got sleepy and it's only 4:45pm and i still have rehearsal tonight...so i'm signing off til later. mwah.

10-6-98: WEEKEND REVIEW

this is just to say i love me some jennpease, karri and ally. missy who's not on the list knows that i love her fiercely. thank you for the tapes alex...no ass-kicking needed. erica munoz...growing on my...but i love the girl...apparently my new best friend. sabs we need to talk...ssoooonnnn hedvig rocks...james cameron mitchell thinks i'm a clutz billy zane on my plane. eris the package wasn't real..i know this to be true. charlie rose was there as well. more later after i got to work on tuesday. okay i still didn't get to see jasme...but that's okay. we're in a better position with our friendship now than before and we've come to an understanding with certain issues. got stuck in la guardia last nite (monday) that was no fun. eris had to come pick me up in greensboro...so i didn't get to sleep until after 3am today. argh. argh argh. rehearsals to go to and things to get done. i have to cut my hair. it isn't a choice anymore. saw the show and met some people, it's easier just to paste the email that i wrote on here. and do a regular entry tomorrow. side note: all i know is that i need someone else's gentalia in my face soon. sigh. welp, got to the city around 8:45pm on saturday. the hotel was closed (or so i thought) until at least 10pm that nite, so i was wondering what i was a gonna do for a couple of hours. GO TO THE NEDER of course. so i trudge my bags up the street from the port in anticipation of second acting. but lo to my surprise here were two women coming out fof the hteatre. i listen to them talk and then they are leaving. i stop them and ask if i can have their stub. The woman looks for a minute and says, "well sure." and pulls out a totally unused ticket. w00 so i march in as if i'm simply late to the show and i get treated like royalty. they sit me on row k until the intermission. then i move to c and then finally center on row m. kenny was out :-(, dan was conducting :-) but the show and music seemed slower than the first angel cast performance i saw. i mean no one cared about being on that stage. and apparently no one wanted to be in the audience...it was so dead. no carla, tamara, mark, or shelley...so i get yaz, shayna, erica, and dick. did not like yaz's hair or the makeup that they slap on her face. and the fact that she (and shayna as well) clench their jaws when they sing irritated the hell out of me. shayna would have loved to see her mimi, but alas. her solo was solid, very shelleyesque. all i know is that dick can play any character he wishes except mark and i will be happy. erica (new best friend)...didn't like her as mark's mom at first but on sunday...she's kinda just there but isn't hurting anyone. anyone else think that she looks a lot like karen olivio. i mean a lot. I'm on a jim poulos (and that ass) bandwagon again. forgive me. he's changed a lot of what he did wrong this summer. sings in the correct key during RENT and Halloween, which has never been a song that i particularly cared for was haunting. supermodel needs to go. he has the worst contact that i've ever heard. afterwards get to catherine's and who comes down to greet me but myboo! glad to see him, but want to kick his ass for not going home. try to call my friend jasme and weegee but get neither...so we head off to the luther creek museum aka jpmorgan's and missy's apartment (yes jennpease--my name's a sentence {sorry i'm so daft}-- that's what i'm calling you now.) drink cider and laugh and watch luther (crack-o-creek). sunday lotto: of course jay wins and i'm sitting in 110 right under shayna. dick is on as roger for the matinee and nite performance. marcy had to go on both shows because there was no one left. we saw the matinee. all i can say is ONE COP. leslie's solo then matt's solo. twas cute. apparently dick and marcy are over their issues or they can act better than christian and laura. whichever, they kicked assed at the matinee. I don't think that i've ever seen such a solid another day. i've seen more intense (dc manley simone) and more emotional (last obc daphne/adam) but this one was right up there. carlos as the man (byron just thump him over the head and take the drugs) and matt murphy was mr grey. matt looks just like my friend chad stutz who works at matthew's in trump plaza. matt has a clearer high f than will :p but not the emotion and his waiter is non-existant. give me will's wallrub[tm] or carlos' dancing fool any day. liked yaz's performance...still can't get over the way she looks. someone fix it please. marcy has new purple makeup (yay!) for the second act. lovely. gwen was great but is getting sick again. ************* joel is at 209 now. argh. he had this stupid little girl with him on sunday (he saw the show four times this past weekend and actually won all four times--argggghhhh) who was trying way too hard to be cool...and in the know (joel I'm going to beat your record one day) like that's something to strive for. but her face dropped to a new depth when joel informed jay and i that gwen had requested our appearance backstage after the show. he hah! bright lights...big city...... talk to erica for a third time as dona, jay and i go backstage to meet gwen. she's talking to someone so we wait out by the wall where i read the jennpease quote. if anyone can go to the theatre...it's near the stage door on the right wall if you are facing the door near the bottom left area. leslie has some friends from philly up and jay and dona graciously snaps pictures of them with leslie and then with yaz and wilson i believe. we talk to gwen and they make an announcement about krysten cummings. apparently she was at the show. so who walks out from backstage, but krysten. that girl is a laugh riot. she talks A LOT and about anything and anybody. my ears are still burning. she misses luther a lot. awww. missy misses krysten and i think we ruin her day by telling her she was there. we almost miss lotto from talking to gwen...cristen wins tickets but then no one wants to take them because we decide to go see hedwig since everyone can't get in...even though joel offers us a ticket as well. my first time in the village. nice nice. i have to pee and of course there are no facilities available anywhere. we get the tickets and i fall in front of the box office as john comes out the door...looks at me and walks back into the theatre. missy laughs. the show was excellent though had a been a voter...tls would have won for the show and john as the performer. chicatita and fernando.... go back to the neder in case krysten sees that show as well...and i see karri and ally again. yay. take pictures with them and alex and jpmorgan and missy. then i get shots with shayna and yaz (the only obcers that i didn't have) and wilson cruz. get dick's cellphone number and then promptly forget it. watch jp ask dick to sign her hedwig playbill (you know he's the new understudy for the show. he's going on next saturday.) don't get the picture with erica (sorry sabrina). and then go eat. i buy too many cds at virgin (one of which though is Audra's new cd). and do the tearful goodbye thing. rest rest rest in the hotel catherine while watching the stokes/audra gershwin video and listening to that show. so except for the flight situation, i had a great weekend. ask me if you want anymore information.... "jus like a car wash!"--hedwig ****************************************************************************** Thomas King CASA-NC Ambassador: Contemporary A cappella Society CAN asst editor: Contemporary A cappella News Music Director: Pick Up 6 modern a cappella http://members.tripod.com/~Nilla13 Gwen Stewart welcome.to/helios-rising/GWEN ****************************************************************************** MamaNilla is lord of the universe.

10-2-98: we'll be singing and dancing and grooving to the music

tomorrow this time i will be in an airport to fly to la guardia. i'm so excited. the shows went well today. cut the time by 7 minutes. whooa. i forgot a line. eek. if you need me you can reach me at catherine's. yes, i'll probably see RENT again...to make it 18xs. yikes. but thinking about chicago, hedvig, or dinah was. i really wanna get dinah was so that i can give josh a copy for his christmas present. i'm fucked all to hell about this car rental thing. still can't talk about it...it makes me sick. argh. argh argh. karri and ally woo gonna meet them....gonna see jessbrinn, gonna see dona. okay jasme can really bite my ass. no i'm not going out of my way to see you...if you want to act like a fuckin bitch about it. then don't ever speak to me again, i'm sure my life will crumble for not being in your presence. and when you make it big (HA!) you'll forget all the fucking little people who helped you along the way anyway, because they aren't currently sniffing your crack. you chris and chris are just a like. no more regrets on my part. yes, it's convient on my part to see you now. oh well. i hope you like the song. hopefully, i'll update from catherine's.

10-1-98: where has this year gone...

I'm having a hard time believing that 1998 is almost over. i will state that this has been the quickest year of my entire life. getting closer to thirty. but i can deal. umm, green man opened today. the children seemed to really enjoy themselves. that makes me happy even though i don't want anyone else knowing that because i generally hate being around little children. unless they have manners and social skills and basically act like adults. sarah and jef told me that it was the best work that they had ever seen me do. well, because i really don't believe in myself as a performer, i still have to take their compliments with a grain of salt. but i sure do appreciate them nonetheless. they don't have to say anything. i'm trying to be implusive and fly off to new york city this weekend. i promised eris the use of my rental car if i do go. i foolishly made that promise, but i think this is one that i really need to keep, if not to prove something to them (that i trust them) but to also prove something to myself (why wouldn't i trust them). though eris did piss me off by saying that the only reason i wanted to go to nyc was because i felt like i had missed something in philly by not going last weekend. that really wasn't the case. it was the fact that an e-saver popped up for $89 out of rdu which is the price range i had said would cause me to go this weekend. i really do want to meet karri and ally and since they are in town as well...it would give me that opportunity. as well, i think i can swing by and see jasme. I DID IT! this is possibly the most imprompt to thing i've ever done. I'm going to NYC this weekend to meet some people that i've talked to online for a year now. they are coming up from LA to see RENT and some other things....but they don't know i'm coming. w00 we're going to converge at catherine's. tis definately going to be a good thing. what else can i write about. i haven't spoken to my mom or my sister or my grandmother in several weeks. eek. i keep calling them, but either they are not at home or in a meeting or something. or i don't know what's up. i believe my father came into town last weekend to take my grandmother to richmond, he said he was going to stop by my place...but surprise surprise in was in rehearsal for GREEN MAN. off to rehearsal for PICK UP 6. i think i need to go in with a mellow attitude. chris and jen never responded to my post. and i never called lance about it...so i think i'll bring it up as a topic of discussion for tonight's rehearsl. i got the sheet music for time after time. tis a not great arrangement...very standard, but it's a great song. oooooo I'm so happy right now...but of course my mom's in a terrible financial fit and i can't help her at all. argh....I have to get this comdisco job...or something that's paying better than this one. i have another job interview with a CPA firm next week. right now the job will be paying around 25k but because of my tech experience i should be able to ask a higher amount. will talk to caren about this tonight. allright...check you out in the latterdaysaints...

Construction Workers the cast of characters who create my life. Construction PaperArchives
continuing the journeyon to other NillaPages