Aquarian Dreams
My Life is under construction



for a while....i've gotten rid of her. But she'll be back.
i left this off the hottie display last month. what the hell was i thinking...
manley pope. he truly is one of the beautiful ones.
8-7-98  UPDATE

Elondia Sheba Quamar (ere)? Harvey was born at 
7:46am on friday august 8, 1998.  she weighs 6lbs6oz.

i'm an uncle.

8-6-98 addendum: whoa! okay, I made the group that i had callbacks for last nite. that was a great relief, now If i just don't start hating these people, it'll be all good.
i saw a former accidental last nite at the medical exam thing. kristen, she's dating another accidental (apparently they started dating the day the group broke up) coinky ;-) i had eris rolling on the phone last nite. i discovered a big secret about my roommate last nite. i had noticed it, but damn, it's spooky.
oh and i had a bug incident last nite...but i killed this one. the fucker wanted to continue to move after i had slapped it several times with the broom. it began to really really really piss me off. well two people i sang with last nite are on albums that i have. jen demik (i don't know if she got in the group or not) was in OOTB (out of the blue at duke university--female) she's on Full Circle. and Chris (i'm assuming he's chris anderson) sang with UVA Virginia Gentlemen. he's on Prairie Fire and High Time. I'll post links and soundbites later.
Chris is going to be the music director and I'm going to be his assitant I think, unless Lance wants it. I'm sure he's going to want to. I don't like lance's voice that much. it's really bright a buzzy and he's got a slight country accent. though the tone is very pure which i can't say the same for my voice at all and he's a tenor 2 so he rings notes i can' t even hit. but we'll see, caren and stephanie want him to darken his tone. that should help a lot. stupid me left my bag at the audition site. that's why i found out last nite that i was def in. (steph had said that i was, but she couldn't speak for the group on monday...ya know how that is). so i went back and got it. and then i promptly went out and bought cigs. yay me.
8-6-98 Can you dig it. I'm going to be an uncle. my sister went into the hospital today at 7:00am and my mom called me at 7:30. She was due this weekend, but they had to go in earlier. I'm leaving for home tomorrow and will see you guys on sunday. I have a meeting and rehearsal and thesis stuff due today. but i'm most excited about my callback for the singing group. i get to meet jen demik who've i conversed with a little bit over email. and to see this devine one named chris. really good bass. do i look fifty to you?
8-5-98 Hey Mr. Sandman, bring me a DREAM!
okay what happened yesterday, i really don't remember. i know i went home after work and went to bed, but that's about it. couldn't tell you much of anything else. except the CB list blew up over idiocy. oh well, not going to go into that. i don't agree with everything that went down and you know that's my choice. Age really isn't just a number.
ipswitch isn't moving. goody.


My life is as regular as my bowel movements and updates in this webjournal. I am sick and tired of the constant shifts and peaks and valleys. I think that I'm becoming as manic-depressive as one of my former roommates.
Last nite driving home i was in an okay mood. hadn't really felt like being at rehearsal but it had gone okay. i was completely tired. but i thought i was dealing. so walk into my god-forsaken shitshack and it's like 83degrees in the house. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! my roommate is fucking insane [sarcasm](well all of them have been, but it really hasn't been my fault at all. noooooo!)[\sarcasm].
So he tells me that he may be moving out. okay i can deal with that. he may be getting this job teaching at ECU for a year. i hope it goes well for him. whatever happens we'll be able to deal. one perk is that i would get the bigger room. yippee. though all the furniture and the fatass sterosystem will be gone. boo hiss.
so anyway i walk in the door and get immediately depressed. i mean i feel the funk work it's way from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet as i slowly sink into the luscuious black coach which may soon no longer be there. better call REMCO!
So I'm talking to eris on the phone for the first of three hours--which has become as nitely ritual and our "pet" decides to show up.
No this is not a fucking real pet.
it is possibly the most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed in my life. why do i stand the torment.

I have to address something that eriannasaid on her site. but i'm not sure how. even if i explained it all, i don't think that she'd understand or get the point. and it would be 7-29 all over again.

8/3/98 Weekends are made for having fun!!! yeah yeah
this has to be so quick because i'm at work and got a project due. hmmm, oh i applied for several real jobs here. i have good inroads on two i think, so maybe my family can start respecting me again if I get one of them.
Stephanie's gone...don't really know how I'm dealing with that. In a way I'm sad because she's played such an important role in my recently development and I will always be grateful i think for what she's done for and to me. Much like when Jasme first left, but that's a whole nother story for later.
But It's also like a breath of fresh air that's she's gone. Like each of us were supposed to be given a new life with the recent occurrences. So let's see where this wind blows.
Still getting over all the issues of the weekend. but now have a week break from actually performing a show. I just have to rehearse for the other one (Commedia) and go to my callbacks for the singing group and begin patient study for Duke Med students. wheee doggie.

sunday nite was interesting to say the least. okay eris and i get up basically at 3pm after taking jay to the bus station. I have to take her back to Raleigh before going to Midsummer that nite. We stop by Wal-Mart to see if the the yummy picture is back yet. IT IS! oh happy happy day. we get the philly trip and the REWIND TOUR concert photos back as well. all is good. eris has scanned many of them for me.

do the show and it's a pretty hip crowd. friends from snow camp are there and i make sure to talk to them during the show. it's all in good fun. the audience starts clapping before i can say my ending lines (Give us your hands if we be friends....) so the moment is kinda ruint for me but hell they enjoyed it and that's all that should matter right.
Puckism of the day "Big Woop!"
Free food at Swensen's Ice Cream Palor...W0W!
oKay I hang out at the Dead Mule Club after the show. Good god so many people there. Shannon, who is playing isabella in the commedia is there with this semi-hot guy named sean (her ex)...tension there...and after a couple of hours he leaves her there, but it's okay because she has hottie jack dillion to look after her. but get this. JACK and CHRIS are kissing each other Hello, i'm like Hello. wtf. anyway closetboy[tm] is moving away. has already cut off his fon and is being his usually chris self, but it's okay. i can deal. the club was happening. met a lot of new people who were fun to be around. free drinks of course and sights sights sights. we danced, smoked, drank. twas a great way to end the weekend.

8-2-98 Dubba dubba fest check out aveenno or crux for more weekend updates. so boo and my roommate ipswitch meet. boo thinks he's nice. w0w, i mean there was nothing else to say to that. but w0w. we're late going to eris' because we're tired and hungry. but we make it and i decide that we'll go to the mall so that i can pick up my pager. we go to CRABTREE valley mall. THERE IS A M.A.C counter at BELK, i'm so so so very excited. hot models and women dishing out candy and balloons. one girl is ugly thin. eeks. we go shopping--looking in random stores. i do my business in bathandbodyworks. they paint and spray themselves silly...same in the body shop. boo buys shoes and a hat andsunglasses and almost buys a leather jacket. it's too funny. eris has a good time with me in a mall which is fucking (oops sorry) incredible. we come out with happy happy bodies. we have to rush to the theatre because of course again i'm running late. hee haw. they go to look at bus schedules for boo. the show is good but much slower tonight. Puckism for tonite--goody, wiggawaccawow. we go eat chinese at panda inn....the ritual continues. WGWM club[tm] is in london right now and we discuss that. we talk about rent and find out that we have to take boo to fayettenam to get him on the bus and he doesn't want to go. he's going to move to nyc just like everyone else. argh. i wish him the best of luck. It must be nice to be young and carefree. but atleast he is making a plan and not rushing into a lot of unknown territory headfirst. make a plan make a plan.... and to no fault of my own or anyone's really we miss his bus in fayettenam. it's a sad thought that we may have to wait for him to catch a bus back to tallahasee at 4/5 in the morning and he needs to be at work by 5pm. he goes livid and i understand why. i had that same feeling coming back from nyc on new years weekend. but we finagle and get him on a bus at 2am. and we trekked back to durham. for another interesting nite of conversations. Oh oh oh...and the tradition continues (thank god whitney wasn't there) of having a rent sing along. Boo wants to be in rent as well as a million other people that i know. he has a slight chance. i think he's going to have to age himself more though, he still looks to fresh and we see where that wound will chase up to. I've sung Roger to four different Marks that i can remember. eris has been my favorite for her consistency. guy was great in a character angst sort of way, boo has great vocal quality for it, but just seems a little young...and Diva has the rawness down pat and being the best harmonizer. I know that boo and diva are going to audition for the show. i wish them luck. adios y'all.
8-1-98 If we shadows have offended.....think but this and all is mended. Jay is finally here. I'm excited and scared and all sorts of things. I consider myself a very boring person, and i'm always trying to impress people that I just meet because I think if i don't they won't like me and i'll be just as alone as i was throughout school. oh well. and people say i ignore them, the problem is that i think about them too much and just don't know how to tell them that. argh. life life life.
anyway so it's raining hard when i go to pick up jay at UNC at 3:45pm (even though i was supposed to be there at 3:15pm there goes tekaytime[tm] in action again. argh. anyway, I spot him under the covering. he looks nothing like i thought he would, and yet everything i imagined him to be. we both seemed nervous and unexpectanct of what was to occurr next. well i had to get home and get ready for the rainy show that i thought was going to happen (it didn't thank the lord). we sit in solemn silence A LOT. But i think we both were just thinking about if this was really real. I wanted to steer the coversations away from all that was RENT. You know we are all trying to base these new friendships about of the RENT bond... i mean how disgusting would that be. I fail miserably for the most part.
The issue that i was having was the fact that we often were sitting in my car in complete silence. My boring complex alarms were firing at full tilt. I mean it seemed to me that we were just chilling with each other the way that friends who've known each other forever are able to do. It wierded me out. here we were supposed to be talking up a storm. we'd never met, but have spoken to each other on the phone and email for about a year. I didn't want this to turn into Myboo[tm] thinking that this was the worse decision that he's ever made. yes yes yes i was taking on the responsibility of someone else's happiness instead of going with the flow...give me a fucking break.
He spent a lot of time by himself on campus...and then i showed him my home and he showered and konked out like that. so i let him have a 45 minute nap and then we had to race to the theatre. The show was excellent that nite. i started adding more improvs to the show. they seem to be working.


so damn damn damn....and i even knew the reviewer. i don't want to toot my own fucking horn, but goddamn how can you not mention PUCK in fucking midsummer nite's dream. i mean this is twice that i've been in a major role and not even been mentioned in the review. I know some people believe that is a blessing, but i really think i'd rather have negative press than no press at all. REMEMBER YOUR PORTFOLIO's people. anyway. so i'm thinking of calling the critic and see what he has to say. i would have just gone and read it on citysearch, but i believe he got fired from that job. so who knows........... Puckism of the show--yippee! and little jig after up and down. one of the sonambulists called me slacker puck. hmmmm i didn't take it as a compliment at first (Cause he also called me lazy) but he said he really enjoyed the interpretation. and i sorta respect his work. so it's advant garde theatre who really gives a shit.
<--!sorry--> i shall stop the cursing. i promise. je promis. Myboo[tm] seemed to really dig the show (i'm glad since he had to sit through it twice). we went out drinking afterwards (NO, Myboo[tm] doesn't drink and he's 18--he's straight edge) and lots of people that i know were out and about. stephanie who is leaving for atlanta on sunday. brandon and william who are moving back to the triangle from boston...william is trying to get a job at UNC. so we hung, ate and talked some more. it was still the weird vibes talking and sometimes not talking, but it was better. i knew that eris would end up being the connecting point.
so we go home and boo is out like a light. i call eris who's finally back from DC ---yay!-- and we sorta make plans for saturday. she and i talk on the phone for 3 hours (of course and we talk about sue and whitney.) and at 3am i drift to beddybye land. later

I have an obsessive/compulsive disorder which can get me in trouble. oh well.

and i'm going to use it today or tomorrow.

continuing the journey

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