This page is under construction


for a while....i've gotten rid of her. But she'll be back. let's go to august

7-29-98 So Yet Again...Just Cut Out My Tongue

i think i'm going to cut off all communication with people in the world.
  no matter what i say. it's wrong. no matter how i say it i'm being
 hypersensitve or uncaring.  i am a living oxymoron/dichotomy.

eris is coming home soon. yay. i don't know what's she's going to do about her car. she wants to sell it...and hopefully she being the forever pessimistic don't think that's feasible since it isn't running. but if anyone can do it she can.
We just really need to take a trip together and get away. I don't know when that's going to be possible... but it needs to happen soon. No going to see shows or visit the same people we always visit. just away.
I was going to put up an email correspondence that i was having with a friend of mine, but because I'm following advice from a newsgroup i'm on I'm not going to..., I haven't responded to the message and don't think that I'm going to because i wanted to stop the madness and destruction before i say something that i either don't really mean or doesn't come out clearly. i have answers for everything that was written in the email ...but of course i do because i'm answerman[tm] and i suffer from MAS. but then the bickering would just go back and forth and it's already made me sick and more depressed than i usually am. So, I'm just going to throw my shell back up and never share with anyone again and just go back to having the superficial friendships that were so commonplace in my life (for most of my life actually) where i always made everyone else happy and was crumbling away inside. I am the perfect pollyanna after all. No Kyle, it's not you.
7-28-98 WTF?! the show's opening... Well Midsummer is here...can you dig it. the show might actually happen and in less than 2 hours. we ran for 1:40 then 1:20 and tonight's show actually was only 1:10....good god.
i've been getting some pretty good criticism from the selected viewers and stuff. apparently i need to do more big stuff with the wand and whatnot. that should be okay. i was freaking out that i would forget where i was in the show again tonight...and it happened...i'm the one with the least amount of i was the one who just to a whole different scene the other nite and had people screaming at me that it wasn't the right scene. ah me.
my costume is funky and in more ways than one. we got rained on and still ran the show monday nite. so the not quite aired out quality is in everything as well as just it's funky becuase it's all purple and i have a cape and some beads and this skirt on my head that i can use to cover my face...and it's just a bunch of fun. my pants keep falling down so i have to get a belt that this woman PEG an old sonambulist who's moving to nyc in a couple of weeks is bringing...she's said it has all this groovy stuff hanging off of it. i'm excited.
and we had commedia rehearsal and were given new wrenches to play. there's this one woman in the show named Nancy Jane and her scene was fucking hilarious. i had to stand up and applaude after it was over because she was just that genuine.
i really am digging this thoughts online stuff. let's keep a record. OH FUCKING roommate just bought a new Power macintosh computer...and money's tight....but oh well. it's a great machine..not that i'll ever be able to use it. but anyway. later. 7-27-98 it's the end of the world as we know it....
gah gah gah the start of dress/tech week for midsummer... my boo is coming to see me this weekend (argh) oh i mean yay! actually i'm looking forward to that. itchy issues... eris is stuck in virginia. and the world keeps going round until it stops. must do some more actual work tomorrow. isn't that a novel concept. thesis issues again...but who cares? later
7-26-98 Joy and Pain, Sunshine and RAIN! i am so fucking happy that my friends advised me to go the concert on friday nite. i ended up having one of the greatest times ever. yes...and wait to you see the pictures so that you can all see how fucking close i was to the stage. i hope they turn out. i took 25 pictures of culture club alone. i'll do a recap of the concert later tonight or sometime after i get off the radio...yeah i have to do a radio interview for the shows that i'm doing this summer. should be interesting because our director is not back in town yet. oh and shakepeare..gotta love it. okay eris' car broke down friday nite on her way to see josh....i was worried....but then when she called me, i pissed her off and she pissed me off and we piss each other off all the time....i can't go into it here but suffice it to say that we haven't spoken much to each other this weekend. i'll tell you later. saturday was a beaut. i had the audition for the singing group. the two women seemed to like me. at first i thougt that they were lesbians..but they aren't. i have to sing in the callbacks with various quartets and that should be interesting. they made a mistake in the information they sent me. lyle isn't in the group yet. he hasn't even auditioned and he couldn't go yesterday because he was working. so he's supposed to call me tonight about it. i don't know. he's a weird one i tell you. i wasn't great yesterday because i couldn't do a lot of the sight-singing...though it was the melody so go figure...and my harmonizing wasn't the best...but they did seem to enjoy themselves...and i them. it'll be nice to get back in the a cappella groove. i'm feeling this cross your fingers... leroy is not being superleroy anymore and we're actually communicating every once in a whiel. so that's good. i missed two parties yesterday and that put me in a really really really really deep funk. so i read "stella" and went to bed. and now it's radio time. later....
announcement: moral dilemna of the day I wanted to go to the culture club concert for a long time, and then my favorite radio station has been giving tickets away willy nilly...even front row center and backstage passes...and i can't seem to win, i mean i've listened to the radio for 12 straight hours trying to call in and to no avail. it's pissed me off...and now i've lost most of my interest in going to the concert, because i am petty and jealous and all that bullcrap. i would be upset knowing that people paid less to sit in these same seats and as well some of them will have the opportunity to go backstage and actually meet george, roy, craig, and jon. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH What should I do?
7-24-98 Okay so I've solved the aforementioned problem by changing the background color so that's all good and the real font color will periodically change because you should be able to see whatever font color i use now on this background. let me know if something's amiss. I'M HAVING FONT COLOR ISSUES....
what would look better on this page...i really like the sun drawing but I know that it can be difficult for people to read. argh argh argh.... what's a bitch to do?
7-23-98 (today has just been a busy day)
kc is zee greatestest....

cuz you just can't have enough of this leo butz a devil in disguise...

lambert use to be my twin until he lost all this weight.
okay the real 7-23-98 Well, i got a copy of "she comes undone" and "how stella got her groove back" yesterday. I'm excited about reading the wally lamb book, but not so much "stella." i've been told that it's not very good. but since i'll probably go see the movie with eris because our boy TAYE--from RENT, is in the movie. i want to know what it's all about. or something. well had my two other rehearsals last night. it's going to be interesting doing the audiomagazine. and i have to play a fifty year old man for the medical exam. i can do it.. I've got a totally different hairstyle, which has really freaked out a lot of people. ANYWAY. I'm happy about the cut, but it's nothing really major. well it is considering i had an afro of about 7 inches of hair and now i have maybe an inch. i still want to color it as well. who knows. i'm really worried aobut midsummer, but i think i've said that already. we are to finish the rest of the show tonight but without the director, oberon or titania and whoever else decides not to show up tonight. Some people from the barbershop i went to yesterday are going to try and come see the show. my faith in african-american artistry is restored. I am schmuck extraordinaire. and i keep wanting to tell eris that she's spelling realize wrong...but i know she has an english fetish and she hasn't said anything to me about the fact that i spell theatre with the english spelling. so i must bite my lip. mhmmmmhmmmm and i'm stepping back into the a cappella foray again. I'm auditioning for this group on saturday. Lyle, the older fag from the accidentals (the group that i was music director for a year which never performed a single time, bitter much) is in this group. it's going to be interesting having to audition for him now, since he had to audition for me the last time (he was a former member of the accs, but they had a policy for making returning members reaudition). The bitch that beats all is the fact that I HAVE TO DRIVE LYLE TO MY AUDITION . I mean WIGGAWACCAWOW! so we'll see how it goes. i'm probably going to sing summertime from porgy and bess as my audition piece. and may face in the crowd if they want an uptempo number. i haven't seen lyle since the break up of the group, but have talked to him briefly. he had wanted to start up another group with me...but i just wasn't up to the challenge. I needed someone with more order that i wouldn't have to really think about to get things done. here's hoping this is the group. besides, lyle also brings up my whiteboyswhocan'tdrive[tm] issues. that's enough for now...i must bring some order to this page.

7-23-98--i am a bitter pill...
okay, i only have a little over five minutes to write all of this... i need to put frames on this page so that it's cool and funky like some of the other pages i've been reading recently... you all know that i'm a voyeur and the more i know about other people the happier i am, some people would like to call that being a busibody. but not me. i'm simply a nozee bitch...but hey. fuck you i'm in a bitter bitter mood, because the novice actor who's always trying to suck up to me and say that i'm soooooo good is fucking of course going to star in this show that i also auditioned for. but not only is he going to star in the fucker...the show is going to play in nyc as well for a week. but the most damnedest of all is the fact that the show is playing in the same MINT theatre that i was supposed to make my debut in last winter (in '97) and the show that caused me so much misery and pain. okay, there is a lot more that has to go here and i'll try to type more of it tomorrow. happy fucking spring {roger}

7-21.98--do you eat fritos?
i am so sick and tired of my body always giving out on me. What the hell did i do as a kid that g-d has to make the rest of my life so fucking miserable. and i've know thoroughly disgusted all of my friends so that they never want to talk to me when i'm in pain. it's like i've cried wolf too many times. and the sad part is...each time i've said's been true. i really believe that my body is eating itself inside out. i've never known anyone else who has as many mundane bodily disfunctions as i do. it's insane. currently i'm bleeding. just bleeding because my body says it can. and i don't know what to do about it. i have a gash and it decides that it wants to bleed after 20 hours or so. but i don't want to dwell on that. i have some friends who are moving to nyc stephanji and i'm really worried about thelm. I just found out some disturbing information at crackville but that is second hand i'm not going to assume anything. If and when they need me, they know that i'll be there if i can. I'm tired of rehearsing. i'm glad that midsummer is opening next week. i'm ready for everything to start. i can make any future plans until september because of this scheduling. but lo and behold I'm starting rehearsal for a medical exam that i'm performing and for a children's audiobook. TOMORROW. you got that right. two different rehearsals in the same day. argh...but it'll hopefully take my mind off of everything else that is going on. the culture club concert is this friday. i don't know if i'm going now...i want to badly, but we can't always have everything that we want. later


back at work today...this weekend was interesting to say the least.  I got slapped for
the first time ever in my life on thursday nite.  go to eris's page if you really
want to know about it....let's just say, make sure you don't laugh when she's singing...even if it
has nothing to do with her.

okay gotta go...more later...i'm in so much trouble i can't stand it.


i can't graduate from school now.  damn tekay time strikes again.

Okay well everybody's doing here comes a journal...

anyway...this has been the shittiest week for most of my friends following the trip
which you can read about national tour.  i won't even begin
to get into it all...argh.

to update all two of you who may read this page...

I'm playing puck in msnd.  rehearsals are non-existant but oh well...we open in two weeks.

This commedia shit is wigging me out...but it's all good.  we'll see how the audience likes it.

PATCH ADAMS SHIT CAN KISS MY ASS.  i don't ever want to be on a movie set again unless i am the 
star or at least a featured player.  being an extra sucks major donkey...and i do mean that.

how hot is he?

I have an obsessive/compulsive disorder which can get me in trouble. oh well.

and i'm going to use it today or tomorrow.

continuing the journey

This page has been visited times since June 16, 1997.

Sign My Guestbook View My Guestbook Guestbook by Lpage