My Life is under construction

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The attempt to silence a man is 
the greatest honor you can bestow on him. 
It means that you recognize 
his superiority to yourself.

óJoseph Sobran

10-28-98: hermaphrodite blues...

Sometimes I believe I was born a hermaphrodite and they made the wrong decision when they operated. When I was younger I used to want to be a girl. A white girl at that (sounds like Toni Morrision's The Bluest Eye doesn't it. but i really did. i remember playing house when i was around 5 years old in my front yard with my best friend from across the street. in this instance i had to be the mommy. i don't know if it had anything to do with the fact that i didn't know what a daddy was supposed to do, because i never had one. That female other has always been intriguing to me. But that's the discussion of a paper during my doctoral years. i can't wait. The reason I brought this up was from an incident last night. i often get mistaken for female. i mean all the time. i have a fairly high-pitched voice, and my hair can give me an feminine look, I guess. so i was getting the regular can i help you sir, oo ma'am reactions last nite. i'm fairly use to them and only occassionaly when i'm feeling fairly butch do those situations bother me. Well last nite during PU6 rehearsal, everyone become fascinated with Lance's adam's apple. it's very prominent. so it became a topic of conversation. for the most part, i don't have one. at all. and i'm not talking about the "i don't have one because i'm fat" ones. virtually non-existent over here. And i just lost my point. breathe bitch breathe. i think this is my favorite mantra. weekend update continued Okay sunday was all about final goodbyes and seeyas to The Green Man Gets A Hand. we had the cast party that afternoon at jef and sarah's. usually there is a nice nice food spread but this year they fooled us and just had dessert finger snacks. there were a lot of upset mooching actors who attended that party very hungry and very sugar happy after the event. the theme this year was dancing with flora and fauna. so they hired a band and we did country dances. Then i was to go to another a cappella jam type concert. this was the UNITY concert at north carolina state university. so i heard wolfgang, acapology 101, ladies in red and the grains of time who are hosting a jam this weekend. Okay not so good as the duke concert but you know they were good in their own right. i'm just sick of most of the barbershop numbers that the grains do. the ladies should just stop being a group and join either wolfgang or acapology. most of the other groups are still growing. aC was boring as hell because i'd heard all of their songs a year ago. this was supposedly going to be their fall concert but when they only had enough material for 20 minutes they had to change it to host the unity concert. My friend chris sings with aC now. he was so nervous during the performance and you could really tell. i didn't get a chance to speak to him after the show to find out what was up with that. i hate divas who can't back up their shit of you know what i mean. oh well. I went to the party afterwards. eh. that's about all it warranted. i schmoozed and did what i needed to do. shane is a fossil (alum) of aC. he's the guy who wrote the pissy email yesterday. well he's pushing hard to get his group some recognition. well shane, guess what. i recognize that they suck. how's them apples... mwah.

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