My Life is under construction

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The attempt to silence a man is 
the greatest honor you can bestow on him. 
It means that you recognize 
his superiority to yourself.

óJoseph Sobran

11-12-98: It's showtime!

w00 this is me in a nutshell... so i'm kinda frustrated that i'm playing light designer, (not anymore, the director designed some cues and all i had to do was tell him which ones didn't really work in this setting and making sure that people 'find their light') I'm now calm about this. technical director (i had to help organize the running crews for the stage managers because they didn't know how.), yep, still doing this. and the "stage manager" is still walking (and i mean W..........A...........L...........K...........I.........N........G) from set change to set change. but some of them were a little faster. still there are people sitting on their asses not doing a damn thing in the cast, but the SMs aren't telling them to do anything. so whatever. let the show be 4 hours long. David who is only the the Co-Publicity Director for pauper players and this is the first show he's worked on had more authority and fucking gumption about himself and getting things done last nite. AND IT's NOT HIS JOB! but fucking kudos to you DAVID. mwah! and the assistant to the director (which is currently my title, but don't let me go off on that one, because that is what started this initial tirade), w00 this has been fixed. Thanks Wad. Damn, that's twice I've said something positive about Wad in mliuc! good lord. even though he spelled my name wrong in one part of the program, but i'm okay. vocal coach and everything else. if one more person talks to me about the ineptness of jason, i am going to scream. i know he sucks. but i feel bad talking about him because i don't know how to keep my prejudices in check because he's deaf. i mean a deaf music director. it would be okay if he was beethoeven, but he's not. but it's not the fact that he's deaf that's the real problem for the situtation. it's the fact that he has no idea what he's supposed to be doing. there was not a single moment of music direction on his part during this entire rehearsal period. yes, he's a freshman but damn i know freshman (one being the choreographer) who would have run rings around him as MD. The director ended up being the vocal coach for the first month and he didn't know what he was doing there either. but back to jason. this pissed me off, he would sit during rehearsal and read email...he would like about getting in touch with the orchestra coordinator (who really was the instrumental music director, but that's a whole nother story as well.) i feel bad for him, but not bad enough to really help him out in any way. because it was too late by the time i came on board to really salvage his role with the organization. just way too late. and now the orchestra doesn't want him conducting the show because he's throwing them off. i mean they begged me to conduct the show or help them devise a plot of getting jason killed (j.k. but not really). i mean what do you do in that type of situation. the director has already asked him to sit down so that he's not distracting, and now they don't want him to conduct. w00 and i thought i had title issues. the band wanted to petition say that he couldn't get music director credits in the program. yes, it's that bad. but hey the show must go on. i could regale you with the fire drill we had last nite in the middle of cue-to-cue or the fact that lisa is about to burst into tears because she didn't know how to be an understudy and thus hasn't gotten all of her lines down and she's afraid. that wasn't a pretty sight. or the real fact that we have yet to run thru the WHOLE show without stopping. eeks. though last nite i will admit, the show was looking damn good for what it was. kurt you should actually be happy about it. i know you're not getting to do as much as you want but there is a show happening. i'm liking ginny and jay a lot more. last night their break up scene in act 2 (herbie and rose) almost had me in tears for real. they tried to feel that shit. i'm so proud of them. both have come a long way. it's going to be jay's salvaging scene because really the rest of his performance kinda sucks. tempo tempo, pacing pacing, cues. the director's credo. but as Mr. Weber (his understudy role) he kicks some major ass. i will go on record and say that i like him better than john. i don't know my lines either... commence singing mantra here breathe bitch breathe. check out my new A cappella page tonight is the debut of pick up 6. we're singing at tony's bar. three songs java jive, operator and face in the crowd. i'm singing two solos. good lord what have i done. been listening to a lot of a cappella music (pshaw you say). over the past three weeks i've gotten 12 new recordings. my favorite by far is channel 32 by extempo who of course is no longer with us. damn. they sing some great tunes. i wasn't totatlly impressed with vox one, m-pact, or housejackslatest recordings. don't get me wrong there was some great cuts on all of them, but Vox One's jazz just wasn't what i thought it was going to be, i may have been jealous over the vocal abilities of the guys from m-pact but some of it was just silly and tired by today's standards, and the jacks' latest funkwich didn't have the same punch or rock-flava that I had grown accustomed to, which is why the album was called funkwich rather than naked noise. but that funkied sound makes them sound like any other r"&"b group that is around. oh well. and the collegiate groups have been hit or miss. eris gave me information yesterday that was going to upset me. but i guess i had to be told. it's about this whole subclaque list. some members of the cliquey bitches think all we do is talk/bitch about them on subclaque. not's true. right now we're not talking about anything, the list is almost defunct. it started out as a list because stephanji was moving to north carolina with josh and stephen said "hey we should have a mailing list" and voila! yes, we have used it to sound off about people, but it just became a means of communicating again basically spam type news without spamming the cb list. i don't know who got it in their heads that it was anything else than that or even who's upset about it. i know once whitney mentioned it to others and that started a little riff, but damn apparently now there is "no love lost" over the subclaque list. maybe i should be happy that at least someone is noticing it. argh. that just pisses me off. last nite i got upset and worried about it and was going to cancel the list and write a letter to the wgwmc to find out if they were truly upset over the whole ordeal and tell them the list was no more. but fuck it. it's a simple list. we're no longer talking about people, in fact two of the people we used to talk about are now on the list. oh well. i mean it got to the point where i was going to title this entry abandonned. because i was feeling abandonned by white people for some odd reason. don't really know what that was about except that it hurt deep enough that i had to dream about it twice in two different settings last nite. i mean vivid dreams to where i actually thought that the same timeline was passing. here's the gist for later discussion: on this strange campus, duke, walking together with a group of people so an old prof of mine from high school, he was going to the same place i think i was supposed to be performing with pu6 at this there it wasn't a theatre but a class room and we weren't singing they were shooting some commercial or doc or something and things go all screwy and wires tangled. that's all i remember of that one. the more vivid and depressing one. gone on a trip/party to said strange campus, driven by a group of people stopped at this person's house. walking on the rolling campus hills, and this by line of something (barricade clothing it was like a moving truck of hangers--you know those clothes lines on wheels) crossing my path and it had swiped one of the members of my group. then we got by it and some white girl was sitting on my lap we were talking, but this guy trying to mac her was upset, so we ended up an a brawl kinda thing because of the moving clothesline ended up in a jail like place for the nite, going back to this guys place my stuff was in this dried pool like thing and not all of it was there. then i was upset cause it wasn't my fault, we were leaving to go back to our school and i was taking my own sweet the gist they left me there. i saw the suv pull away. and i didn't know who's house this was. i had a key and locked the door and decided to walk and then remembered that it was like 1pm and my co-workers were planning on taking me to lunch at the Sienna Hotel and i had missed it (that is where the real life tragedy part came in) so then i bolted up out of bed when my alarm went off..grateful that it was a dream. analyze that. dreamtalk and apparently eris has another bomb to drop on me later. goodie. later again thank you cameron please visit her page. we share a bond.

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