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May 5: Trying Trying Trying

May 5 Happy Cinco de Mayo i'm trying to write...i really am. I'm trying to sing. I'm trying to actually do work at work. I'm trying to dance (we're filming Wheelchair Dancer tomorrow for a cable broadcast called North Carolina Now...for the Special Olympics program). I'm trying to arrange music. I'm trying to clean up my work area. I'm trying to relax. I need to do the webpage over...but of course I don't have all the components, yet. I need to write the article for tekaytellsitlikeitis. is that a good title? i'd like something a little snazzier because the button that's created for it throws off the design of the site. i wish i could use tekaytalks, but that's this and this rocks. {toot}horn{/toot} so come up with an alternative! please. There is a pain in my neck and back. I'm so completely tired and stressed at the moment that I don't know what to do. I'm sleepy all the time and I'm not eating properly...and unfortunately, I've started smoking again as well. (I say started again because even though I've not stopped this is the first time that I've owned a pack of cigarattes in about two weeks, so ya know.) I dyed my hair. I wanted that to make me happy, but it hasn't completely. Yeah Yeah I know, cosmetics never do for anyone, but sometimes the straws that we are grasping for are the only thing that we have. I found my a cappella cds. YES YES YES. So it solidifies that I'm not a complete idiot. hearsay rehearsal was stressful last nite. people were not at all happy with each other and the conversations proved that, as well as the whole atomosphere. too many tired people. people who think they know everything and are the greatest thing to music (and it wasn't him this time). so there was some snipping and griping, but the music was sounding better and i was holding my own. I just can't let words intimidate me anymore. It's not fair to me or my psyche. little c is in my corner and i will cherish that for as long as i'm in the group. the demo came out yesterday...but i won't comment on it here until the person who requested a copy has gotten it and told me. It's short. but of course my solo is the full length song on there. *~*~*~*~*~*~* the word for the day ROCKS!!! ROCKS I tell you. hebetude: dullness of the mind, mental lethargy. of course there's a name for it. OF COURSE. la. Sometimes you just have to believe in rainbows.